Directions in Israel - Key to Peace in the Middle East

My husband and I recently returned from a trip to Israel. I have been there a number of times and my husband lived and worked there for an extended period. Against the advice of some, this time, we decided to rent a car and drive across the country.

After driving through the cities and across the countryside, “directions in Israel” became a metaphor for the roadblocks preventing peace in the region. Now this may sound like an over simplification but like the land and the people that live there, finding your way in Israel is not always simple. Road signs are contradictory and even with a GPS, becoming lost is inevitable.

Getting directions the old fashioned way by stopping and asking locals was an interesting and very frustrating experience.  Don’t get me wrong - Israelis have good intentions and they truly want to help. But according to them, details like, the names of the streets or the numbers of the highways are not important. All you need to know is: how to “drive straight”; “turn left” or “turn right”.

The problem is going straight is never really straight – the “straight” roads bend, fork, and circle. Turning left is worse because there are generally three different lefts: left, more left or a sharp left. Turning right is the same thing.

In their desire to help, Israelis tend to complicate things instead of simply answering a question. Here is an example: “Can you please tell me how to get to route one?” “Where are you going?” “I just need to get to route one.” “But where are you going, I live here, I can help you.” “We just need to get to route one – we have directions the rest of the way.” “I can’t get you to route one if I don’t know where you are going after that.”

At a certain point, you have no choice but to surrender. Their directions sound simple, but then you get to the first left turn and there are three options to take: the one that goes left, more left, or sharp left. Guess they just forgot to tell you specifically which left. And then there are the road signs. You can be driving on Route 70 which all of a sudden ends, yet on the map it continues further. What the signs don’t tell you is that you need to get on Route 75 to get back on to Route 70. My favorite was the directions we received from our hotel in Tel Aviv to go to the airport – “just get on the Ayalon and then you’ll see signs for the airport” – the only problem is that in order to see the signs to the airport, you first have to take the road towards Jerusalem – just a minor detail they omitted. (Fortunately for us, El Al graciously held our flight because what should have taken 40 minutes took us an hour and 40 minutes.)

So what does this all really mean? And how can understanding the way Israelis give directions really be key to peace in the Middle East. I believe it is about communication and intention. Israeli’s are instinctively a well intentioned people – they want to guide and assist. Unfortunately their intention gets lost in their communication and instead of feeling like you have been helped, you are left feeling like they have told you what they think you need to hear and assume you need to know.

I have not spent time in Arab countries, but I know that at their core, Israelis and Arabs are more similar than they are different. And I can also tell you that whether it was Israeli Jews or Israeli Arabs we asked, we got the same kinds of directions. So you can just imagine a scenario where the Israeli Jews told the Palestinians to build on land to the left, and they chose the wrong left. Or how they were told to go straight but straight wasn’t always so easy.

Israel has its own language and it isn’t Hebrew. It is a language weighed down by a history of deep suffering. A language filled with passion and good intentions, a touch of arrogance, a little too much stubbornness and the impediment of not enough listening.

It is this language that is spoken by most of the people who live in Israel and I believe a similar language is spoken by people in the countries that surround her. And it is this language that prevents the forgiveness of past sins perpetrated on both sides of this complicated issue.

Another important issue to understand is that as a people, Jews don’t make things easier, we make things more difficult. It is part of our intrinsic DNA and our need to identify with those who suffered on our behalf in the past. Easy street signs and uncomplicated directions would simply make life too easy for Israelis.

President Obama can put forth his version of a two-state solution which is clearly the right option. But unfortunately it is only a partial solution, because without language on both sides that includes truth, forgiveness and reconciliation a two-state solution alone, will not bring real peace to the Middle East.

I challenge that, Mr. Obama and his advisors need to go to Israel, and instead of spending time in the Knesset, they need to spend time with people on the street, in the Gaza strip and in the settlements. They need to get lost in this complex land because only then will they understand how to mediate reconciliation between these two proud, passionate and persuasive cultures.  

In a profoundly straightforward and honest way, Jews and Palestinians have to acknowledge each other’s suffering, admit to one another’s past transgressions and focus on forgiveness for the future. Because, without forgiveness, there will continue to be begrudging negotiations made impossible with indirect communication that is subject to interpretation. And because when the first party makes a wrong turn, both sides will retreat to their rhetoric and history with neither side really believing that we each deserve dignity, a place to call our own and peace for our children.